Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
