ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
