Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
