We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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