apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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