Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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