can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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