Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
