And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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