Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
