Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize