He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
