Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize