so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
