if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
