it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
