If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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