i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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