You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
