THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
