Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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