isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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