Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I woke up under a house in Key West
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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