We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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