she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
