Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Randomize
