Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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