They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
whose ass print is on the piano?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
