fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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