I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
