It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
