carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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