What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize