new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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