My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
