out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
