theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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