are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
