Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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