margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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