And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
