3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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