I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
