i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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