The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
