how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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