Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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