Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
