They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
