My nipple is on Facebook.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
