Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
