Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
