it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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