I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
