where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
