You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
