Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
