I got chris browned last night
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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