The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
