Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We got so high we made milksteak
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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