life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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