look no pants
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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