Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
