If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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