Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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