You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just invented taco cereal.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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