haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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