guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
