I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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