you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
