Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my shit smells like andre
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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